My Journey - Part 1
My Old Normal...
I was born to two alcoholic parents who had incredible psychic gifts in the summer of 1959 in Gallup, New Mexico.I grew up with 3 sisters who were deeply impressed with the dysfunction and abusive environment we grew up in and continue to struggle with dysfunctional relationships, addiction and mental health issues.
I was co-dependent too, which brought a lot of strife as I kept pulling more and more addicts into my life in order to understand addiction and grow from the gifts that the addicts brought into my world.
From an early age, I knew I was different from others around me.
I recall, at the age of 3 or 4, saying to my mom, "I don't really live here, this is not my home and you are not the boss of me!"
I recall feeling the presence of spirits and when I would see them and nobody else did, my family feared that I was delusional.
Growing up, I struggled to find connections or any real genuine relationships with anyone who truly understood what I was experiencing.
My family was religious and encouraged us to go to church. I have a personality type that needs to know the answers and when the answers do not make sense, I lose faith in the system.
"If Noah and his wife and children were the only survivors of the great flood, then how did other races come about? Why weren't we all the same color?"
"If the 10 Commandments say not to put anyone before the Lord thy God, then why do we pray to Jesus?"
I recall that my basic questions as a child were not received well by my superiors at our church. They did not like that I did not just accept the story as they dictated and took my questioning as a challenge to their authority.
I was not allowed to be baptized with my peers when I was 8 years old.
My Turning Point...
I continued to struggle fitting in growing up in a rural New Mexico town that is very set in its ways when I was an open minded free spirit looking for adventure.
When I was 12 years old, my grandmother started to worry for my soul as I still remained unbaptized.
She took me to her Catholic Church to talk to the priest.
"Why do I have to tell you my sins?"
"Why do you pray to saints?"
"Why the middle man?"
"Why can't you just talk to God directly?"
These questions caused the priest to promptly return me to my grandmother saying "she would never make a good Catholic."
I remained unbaptized into my early twenties when my spirit guides impressed me to have my 3 year old daughter baptized.
For me to have my daughter baptized, I too was finally baptized as a Catholic at the age of 22.